The Adventures of Jefe and Speedbump

            Jefe clung to the wall. He was a brown moth. A sleeping brown moth. Speedbump sat idly by, one ear quirked to the side, watching air. Suddenly, the little armadillo jumped off the couch into the wall, leaving a bloody Jefe spot behind. Speedbump then gathered up the remote and sat down to watch tv.

That’s the trouble with bipolar armadillos; they always hog the remote.

The adventures of jefe and speedbump

 Part iI

        Speedbump turned the tv off. Pimp My Ride was over and Speedbump was tired. When he turned to tell friend Jefe good night, he found that his pal had been replaced by a large red spot. Unsure of what this meant, Speedbump casually walked over to sniff the wall. He realized that it was not jello as he had previously hoped, but blood. Jefe blood!

Speedbump looked down to see guts on the floor. The tiny armadillo was mortified! His best friend in the entire house was dead, and they were out of bleach! One single, salty tear welled up in Speedbump’s beady black eye as he stooped to kiss his friend farewell.

EWW! Jefe tasted terrible! Speedbump wiped the tear from his eye and spread it on the moth carcass. He then licked Jefe off the ground and went to go make some jello.

That’s the trouble with bipolar armadillos; they can’t stand dirty walls.

The adventures of jefe and speedbump

Part iii

            Speedbump didn’t feel too well. He thought maybe the jello he had eaten for lunch had been stale. But Speedbump knew what to do. He grabbed his grey parka as he headed out the door into the frigid 80° Texas night. The armored rat fully intended to go buy some bleach so he could get that ungodly stain off his living room wall. Nearing his destination, Speedbump began to saunter across the street. At that very moment in time, a teal 1984 Dodge pickup ran over Speedbump, squishing him onto the pavement.

That’s the trouble with bipolar armadillos; they never use crosswalks.

The adventures of jefe and speedbump

Epilogue

So boys and girls, what be the moral of this tale?

(All Together)

Teal 1984 Dodge pickups are instruments of the devil

AND

Tears make for good seasoning!

(Wild Applause)